Who’s Your Daddy?
Poet Dale K. Nichols lends some rhyme and rhythm to the pro-democracy movement.
Welcome to this morning’s edition of Never Trump Poetry, brought to you by poet Dale K. Nichols and editor Michael Broder.
Dale K. Nichols
Who’s Your Daddy?
Who’s your daddy, boys and girls?
Repeat now after me:
“Donald Trump’s my daddy. He’s
my hero. He loves me!”
Very good. Remember now
to mind your P’s and Q’s.
Daddy likes good children best.
Obey him. Don’t refuse.
Daddy will get angry if
you’re naughty, so beware!
He might give you a spanking; no,
your daddy will not spare
his rod to spoil bad children, so
you must show him respect.
And if you don’t, I’m warning you
just what you can expect.
Proceeds from paid subscriptions go to support pro-democracy organizations. Consider becoming a paid subscriber or making a one-time donation tax-deductible donation through our nonprofit sponsor, Indolent Arts.
Editor’s Note:
Dale’s inspiration for this irresistibly icky poem is a recent article in The Guardian in which opinion columnist Arwa Mahdawi explains that
a disturbing condition called Trump daddy derangement syndrome (TDDS) is sweeping the world — the main symptom of which is an irresistible urge to call the president of the United States “Daddy”.
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson bears some blame for the spread of this ailment. While speaking at a Trump rally last October, Carlson delivered an unusual speech in which he compared the US under Trump to a patriarch giving his naughty teenage daughter a “vigorous spanking”. Rather than immediately losing the contents of their stomach because of this imagery, the Maga-loving crowd lapped it up. When Trump came on stage later they yelled “Daddy’s home!” and “Daddy Don!”
While TDDS remained fairly dormant for a few months after that, it seems we are suffering a new outbreak. Last week, Nato secretary general Mark Rutte addressed Trump’s comments about Israel and Iran not knowing “what the fuck they’re doing” by helpfully explaining that: “Sometimes Daddy needs to use strong language.”
Meanwhile, Trump spoke approvingly of Rutte’s comments, saying: “I think he likes me.” He added: “If he doesn’t, I’ll let you know. I’ll come back and I’ll hit him hard, OK? He did it very affectionately. Daddy, you’re my daddy.”
This is particularly disgusting in light of what we know about Trump’s history with underage girls. Epstein files, anyone? How about Miss Teen USA? Referring to dressing rooms full of undressed contestants, he told Howard Stern in a 2005 interview "No men are anywhere, and I'm allowed to go in, because I'm the owner of the pageant and therefore I'm inspecting it.” —Ed.
About the team
In the words of Dale K. Nichols, Poet
Whatever I might feel about the merit of particular aspects of the MAGA agenda, I believe that Trump, as the movement’s standard-bearer and chief instigator, is a clear and present danger to the future of America and our way of life. That we the people decided to elect him to a second term points to certain dark undercurrents in our nation’s psyche that had been pushed to the shadows for decades until they were recently coaxed back into broad daylight. For those of you who are Harry Potter fans, I believe that Tom Riddle has reemerged as Lord Voldemort, and we Muggles are in the midst of an ugly Wizarding War that has already suffered many casualties.
In the words of Michael Broder, Editor
I started Indolent Books in 2015 as a haven for poets over 50 without a first book and a welcoming literary space for women, people of color, queer and trans writers, and others who do not fit molds or conform to expectations. I am drawn to Dale’s ability as a poet to reach a general readership with his message of resistance to autocracy and his activist support for democracy. While I am indeed a Harry Potter fan, my pop-culture metaphor for the Orange Menace is Burgermeister Meisterburger, the sadistic, oppressive, and abusive mayor of Sombertown who despises toys—and will arrest anyone who plays with or owns a toy—in the classic 1970 stop-motion Christmas television special, Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town.